The idiom “It takes two to make a quarrel” means that a disagreement or conflict typically involves two people, where both parties contribute to the situation. It suggests that in most arguments, both individuals have some responsibility for the dispute, and it’s not fair to blame just one person. In short, this idiom reminds us that conflicts require the involvement of both sides, and neither party is entirely blameless.
Emphasizes mutual responsibility in conflicts Encourages self-reflection in situations of disagreement Reminds us that both sides contribute to a quarrel Can be used to defuse blame and promote understanding
Hindi Equivalent:
“झगड़े के लिए दो चाहिए”
(यह कहावत यह बताती है कि किसी झगड़े या विवाद में दोनों पक्षों का योगदान होता है। इसका मतलब है कि किसी विवाद को केवल एक पक्ष पर दोष नहीं डाला जा सकता।)
Detailed Explanation
The idiom “It takes two to make a quarrel” underscores the idea that both individuals involved in an argument or conflict play a role in its occurrence. Rather than blaming only one person for the dispute, it suggests that the conflict would not have occurred if both parties had not contributed in some way. This idiom is often used to remind people to look at their own actions before pointing fingers at others, promoting fairness and responsibility in conflicts.
The saying also suggests that sometimes, disagreements are fueled by misunderstandings or different perspectives, and acknowledging this mutual involvement can help resolve issues more effectively. It emphasizes the need for both parties to reflect on their behavior in order to achieve a resolution.
When to Use the Idiom
This idiom is commonly used when discussing disputes or arguments. It can be used to gently remind both sides that they are equally responsible for the conflict. It encourages dialogue and understanding rather than placing blame on just one person.
Real-Life Examples
When Talking About a Disagreement
English: “Both of them were shouting at each other. Well, it takes two to make a quarrel.”
Hindi: “दोनों एक-दूसरे पर चिल्ला रहे थे। खैर, झगड़े के लिए दो चाहिए।”
In a Family Dispute
English: “I know you’re upset with your brother, but remember, it takes two to make a quarrel.”
Hindi: “मैं जानता हूँ कि तुम अपने भाई से नाराज़ हो, लेकिन याद रखो, झगड़े के लिए दो चाहिए।”
In a Workplace Conflict
English: “This disagreement between John and Sarah won’t get resolved if both don’t take responsibility. It takes two to make a quarrel.”
Hindi: “जॉन और सारा के बीच का विवाद तब तक हल नहीं होगा जब तक दोनों अपनी ज़िम्मेदारी नहीं समझते। झगड़े के लिए दो चाहिए।”
Psychological & Social Insight
Why This Phrase Matters:
✓ Promotes Accountability: This idiom encourages people to acknowledge their own part in a conflict. By accepting mutual responsibility, it fosters healthier and more constructive ways of resolving disputes.
✓ Encourages Reflection: It invites individuals to consider their role in arguments, promoting self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
✓ Teaches Fairness: It reminds us not to place blame on one person alone but to understand that conflicts are often the result of actions from both parties.
✓ Facilitates Resolution: By recognizing that both parties are involved, this idiom can help in opening up channels of communication, making it easier to reach a resolution.
When to Use This Phrase: When discussing disputes or disagreements where both parties share responsibility. To gently remind people to reflect on their own actions before accusing others. In conversations about conflict resolution or making amends. To explain that both people in a quarrel are contributing to the issue, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
Usage Tips Neutral Tone: Use this idiom with a neutral or even conciliatory tone to avoid escalating the situation further. It’s often used in a way that encourages both sides to reflect rather than accuse. Use in Disputes: It’s especially effective in family or friendship arguments where emotions run high, as it can encourage both people to acknowledge their mutual involvement. Be Sensitive to Timing: It’s important to use this idiom when the situation is calm enough to reflect on the argument. It may not be the right choice if the conflict is heated and unresolved.
Similar Expressions
| English | Hindi |
|---|---|
| “It takes two to tango” | “झगड़े के लिए दो चाहिए” |
| “Both sides of the story” | “कहानी के दोनों पहलु” |
| “A disagreement requires two people” | “झगड़े में दो लोग होते हैं” |
| “It takes two to fight” | “लड़ाई के लिए दो चाहिए” |
Cultural Perspectives
Western View: This idiom is commonly used in Western cultures to promote fairness in conflicts. It is often used in both personal and professional settings to encourage both parties to acknowledge their role in a disagreement.
Indian Context: In India, this idiom is often used in family discussions or community settings, where conflicts are common. It helps in highlighting the importance of mutual responsibility in resolving disputes.
Global Relevance: The idea that both parties are usually responsible for a conflict is universal, making this idiom applicable in various global contexts where fairness and mutual understanding are emphasized.
Reflection Questions:
- Have you ever been in a conflict where both parties were responsible? How did you handle it?
- How can we use this idiom to promote peace and understanding in our communities?
- What role does mutual responsibility play in resolving conflicts, and how can we encourage it in our relationships?
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